Untitled

When “Scar Tissue” by the Red Hot Chili Peppers comes on when I’m driving on a sunny day, I feel like I’m back home in LA.

the best line off of Eminem’s new album

“Almost Famous”

I stuck my dick in this game like a rapist, they call me Slim Rothelsberger

- Eminem

I know this is a very old song, but I don’t think that I’ve commented that Fireflies by Owl City is the gayest song of all time. 

Greek people are idiots.

I am not naive, I know how difficult and impossible it is to get large masses of people to act in a halfway intelligent, but is it too much to ask to have them not act like a bunch of olive oil smelling retards. 

For quick reference, Greece is essentially bankrupt for the reason that most countries go bankrupt, their GDP is disproportionate to what they spend for their civil servants, social programs, and material costs that they use to run their country. 

So as the government attempts to save their economy and therefore their country, from complete collapse by cutting spending, there are of course riots. So below is what I find most egregious about this whole thing.

———————————————————————————————

1. Let’s Strike!

- Okay, since tourism counts for 15% of the national GDP, let’s have every possible sector of public service shut down so that all planes are grounded and no public transportation is possible. Let’s completely stop generating money during a financial crisis because that will solve our problems. 

2. Let’s Get Violent!

- Since so many people are striking with this notion that education is for sale, and that the future of the children will be terrible, let’s have riots where we hurl Molotov cocktails and stones at police officers. These awesome images will last in the public minds forever, thereby further undermining the legitimacy of the government - which is the most important thing to a government other than a healthy economy. Let’s teach the kids that rioting against their own government is an acceptable healthy activity, and that the 3 people who died were simply collateral damage. 

3. Let’s Blame the Politicians.

-  As someone who has studied politics, I LOVE when people who vote in a parliamentary system, the most representative government system possible (whereas we are a winner take all system), blame everything on the politicians. Remember the good old days when heredity was the only way to rule? well that went out a long long long time ago, and any government holding open elections that ultimately fails is a indictment on the people of that country, not the current establishment.

4. Let’s just blame everyone else possible other than ourselves.

- Maybe it’s Karma from the Holocaust, but I wonder how it is that the German people can be vilified by the Greek people as they bail them out from complete disaster. Greeks angrily declare that the Germans are vultures who lend Greece money at 5% while they take a loan themselves at a rate of 3%. 

- So let’s think about this rationally. Why didn’t Greece get that same loan rate that Germany got?… hmm…. well maybe it’s because you ran  your government so poorly and bankrupted yourselves that you don’t deserve a good interest rate. My credit score is above 800, should I get the same interest rate from a bank as some loser who has declared bankruptcy twice and defaults on their loans? WOULD THAT MAKE SENSE TO ANYONE?? If I were to get a loan from a bank and loan out that money to the bankrupt loser at a slightly higher interest rate, I am doing that person the favor, not the other way around.

—————————————————————————————————-

All of these things speak on behest of a general cultural stupidity, but probably more so a human stupidity to blame everyone but ourselves when things go wrong. Both the Greek people and government are notorious for tax evasion, and maybe this might be what infuriates me most. Because while it would effect the United States, I could really give two shits if meteorite hit Greece.

One of my top 10 pet peeves is people who cheat on their taxes, who at the same time bitch about them. I have a low tolerance to hear people lie to me, and it is worse when the people don’t even realize they are lying. I have heard people say that they cheat on their taxes because they get taxed too much, this is a lie. A person who cheats on their taxes will cheat on their taxes whether the tax rate changes from 36 to 28 percent, much in the same way that the person who steals from his company only does so because he likes steal, not because he is “underpaid”. The use of the word “IF” is always littered throughout this type of reasoning, and I am already tired of hearing it at 25 years old. God, I am going to be one cranky ass old man aren’t I?

The importance of sports broadcasting.

Here in Cincinnati, I heard a local radio guy talking about how ridiculous it is that some professional sports teams honor their local broadcaster with a world championship ring, given the fact that they never play a game. 

To this, I have to say that I completely disagree. I believe in all seriousness, that the connection your local broadcaster has with your audience is worth more than any given player on a team. Would I rather have Roy Halladay right now, or take the last 61 years Vin Scully has done Dodger games, I will take Vin Scully any day of the week.

Living in LA, I think I have been lucky enough to experience the two best sports broadcasters of all time, Vin Scully and Chick Hearn. Even as I have grown to hate the Lakers over the last few years, I did have a favorite Laker - he just happened to be their broadcaster.

I am singlehandedly keeping Subway Breakfast in business.

In the last 2 weeks, I think I’ve had Subway Breakfast about 10 times. It is by 10x far away the healthiest fast food option for breakfast, and if it does go away, the only thing I’ll be stuck with is an Egg McMuffin from McDonalds. My biggest concern is that many Subways don’t have a drive through, which is killer in the morning (hell, most Dunkin Donuts and Starbucks have drive throughs these days).

These days, new products are a quick business venture unto themselves, with no discernible reason for it’s existence other than it being a new novelty to consume. I mean, does Hersey’s really expect to have strawberry and peanut butter M&M’s become a staple product they can sell for 10 years? They know that these items are the McRibbs of their product lineup, and have no problem making them seasonal or axing them completely. The only problem with this is that there is the occasional great item that comes out (i.e. KFC Chipotle Chicken) but doesn’t have enough immediate popularity to sustain even a seasonal rotation in a menu. I would eat more double downs, but my stomach and heart can’t take it. 

Look, I’ve no saint. Unlike Mike, I haven’t paid for a music CD since I was a freshmen in College. I download video games all the time, mostly just for the sake of having it. I don’t really have time to play a ton of games in my free time like I use to. Still, I have and will always buy games from companies like Bioware and Squaresoft, so long as I feel they are sticking to their standards of quality. I even do my best to support companies who I feel are taking chances by going outside the box (like No More Heroes and Heavy Rain). 

Support what you care about. 

Our generation

I would not classify our generation’s music as particularly good. True, while we grew up in the golden era of rap music (Dre, Eminem, Pac, and to a lesser extend BIG), I am not entirely sure that much of any of our rock music will be listened to in 20 or 30 years like Classic Rock is listened to by many today. Other than Coldplay and Greenday, I am not sure any bands that formed in our generation have the staying power to stand the test of time. While I love bands like Jimmy Eat World, Linkin Park, and Foo Fighters, I’m just not sure people will hold the type of reverence for these bands that our generation tends to give Metallica and AC/DC.

A novel idea

Instead of your typical, Remember the Titans, the Express, or that not so great movie about the all black basketball team that went up against the all black texas team (I mean come on, who really has the advantage in that matchup?) type of films, I think we need to create a movie about a an all-white team winning a championship in football or basketball. I mean, think about it, a movie about the Indiana Pacers or Duke Basketball winning it all in the face of overwhelming athletic deficiency. Instead of restaurants not opening their doors so the black kids can eat there or having their hotel rooms ransacked and the word “nigger” spray painted in it, the white kids can be subject to cyber bullying on forums and social websites about how they can’t possibly beat the black kids, or they can all be falsely accused of rape or a hate crime against a minority ala duke lacrosse team.

Maybe I have matured a little bit since I was 10.

I remember watching the Jazz versus the Bulls when I was a little kid and rooting for the Jazz to beat the Bulls. The Bulls, I had reasoned, had already won multiple titles, and I knew it would simply make the careers for John Stockton and Karl Malone to just win one title. My genuine desire to see the little guy win one blinded me to the fact that I was probably under appreciating the greatest player to ever play the game.

So as I’m watching the Jets versus Colts game yesterday, watching Peyton Manning simply carve up the league’s number one defense (along with the best cornerback I have ever seen in my life with Revis), I thought to myself, I don’t want the Jets to upset the Colts because I don’t think they deserve to be in the superbowl. The ONLY reason the Jets were even in the playoffs is that the final two teams the played laid down, and they happen to get lucky against the Bengals and Chargers because both their kickers missed all their field goals. Simply put, Manning is just the best quarterback I have ever seen in my lifetime, and I think that like Jordan, a few championships to add to his resume would not be a bad thing.

And regardless of my general dislike of Brett Farve, along with my continued belief that people misunderstand his career, his performance yesterday won back some of my respect. While I will always argue that he hurt the Jets last year by playing the last few games of the season hurt (as in being too tough and prideful for his own good), I cannot deny the fact that his play yesterday was out of this world. Unlike the last two championship games in which I watched Farve choke away wins, yesterday was an example of him at his best, leading his team down the field as his teammates endured seven fumbles. He lost them the game, true, but they would not have had a shot in hell without him to beat the Saints.

I guess what I’m trying to get at is that I think I’m finally starting to look at sports with the same philosophy I try to use when looking at life. You need to have perspective and take a step back in order to be objective. I said a few years ago that as a sports fan, I don’t ask for much, I’d like my teams to be competitive every year and in playoff contention. This hasn’t changed, even though the Dodgers have had a ton of success recently, you won’t see me down on them if they don’t win a championship in the next five years if they get to the playoffs and have some general success. There’s quite possibly nothing more annoying than the sports fan without a sense of reality and objectivity.

See… Laker fan who thinks a flag out his car makes him a fan even though he doesn’t watch regular season games (proved again by the fact I took a shot at Gasol on facebook after he was a huge pussy and cost the Lakers a game against the Cavs and received no comments because no one was watching the game)… see Philadelphia Eagles fan who thinks Woe is me, my team and quarterback are terrible despite the fact that they have had more success than any team in the NFC in the last decade… see Saint Louis fan who was so spoiled with the good Rams team that they ran off Kurt Warner after having one bad year even though he took them to two superbowls and one playoff appearance the previous 3 years…. see Giants baseball fan who cheered for Barry Bonds, but made no stink after the Giants immediately cut him the year after he got his record and took out all his memorabilia out of the stadium… see Atlanta Braves baseball fan who can’t even sell out a playoff game because they are so spoiled.

Appreciate what you have, when you have it, apply it to life, and apply it how you watch sports. Are the Browns good? no, but they have the best kick returner of all time in Josh Cribbs. If I ever become like a fan I have listed above, kick me in the head and remind me that it’s fan like those who don’t appreciate the Barry Sanders, the John Stocktons, and the Roy Oswalts of the world.

142.8 million? really?

I’ve basically always hated the ways that movies “break box office records,” the insinuation is that more people have watched that movie it’s opening weekend than any other movie in history. So “New Moon” comes in third all time this weekend, as the third supposedly highest grossing opening weekend ever, which it’s really not. This same issue came up when the latest batman was making a run at Titanic for most box office revenue generated, which again, is a misnomer because of the simple fact that box office tickets today cost considerably more than they did 10 years ago, hell even 5 years ago. This could easily be solved if someone would take the average cost of a box office ticket throughout the United States (like they do when they average gas prices), and then divide that by the revenue generated so we could actually get a concise count of the number of people who watched the film. It gets sort of annoying to me when terrible movies like New Moon, Spider Man, and Transformers hit these box office numbers and people misjudge how really popular or great these films are. For the record, I did not watch New Moon, but I did watch the first one, and the first film was one of the WORST films ever made. I am not implying that the books themselves are bad, I am not implying that the story itself is bad, I am stating the obvious fact that anyone who objectively judges movies would be baffled by Twilight’s complete lack of direction, terrible and gaudy special effects, and long instances of staring at each other while actor’s emote what is probably pages of internal dialog through 5 seconds of awkward teen stare downs. Twilight, Spider Man, and Transformers are NOT good movies, they will not be remembered years down the line, and they would receive less credit if people would stop making such a big deal about gross revenue numbers.